The Heart of River Rose: Lisa's Ministry of Presence

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There's a profound difference between helping from a distance and walking alongside someone day by day. At River Rose Ranch, Lisa has cultivated what I've come to think of as a ministry of presence—an immediate, personal, and transformative way of loving. Beyond her dedicated work at the food pantry and her cherished Read to Little Ones program, she's become a cornerstone of support for eight individuals who've become part of our extended family.

The geography of this care spreads across our property like a living map of relationships: one friend maintains the ranch with skilled hands and a willing heart, another has made a home in our converted woodshop, and a third manages the nearby RV park while raising six children, and the woman we first spotted mowing our property as an expression of thanks (who's now become indispensable) helps maintain our homes and supports our events. These aren't just working relationships – they're stories of mutual growth, trust, and care that unfold daily.

The beauty of this proximity is in its natural rhythm. When Christopher clears brush near the dam for our future park, or when John takes a break from working on the CRV we're preparing for Michelle and Emerys, conversations about life's challenges and victories flow naturally. Our dinner table has become a gathering place where these extended family members often join us, sharing meals and stories. Even Gwydion, at three, knows each by name – a testament to how deeply these relationships have been woven into the fabric of our lives.

This hands-on love feels different from our life in DFW, where care was often channeled through organizational structures. Here, Lisa's refrigerator has become a symbol of practical care. Something is usually sent home for dinner or dessert, a tangible expression of thought and love that transcends formal charity.

The garden serves as both a metaphor and a ministry for Lisa. After two years of patiently restoring depleted soil to fertility, she's learned to work with the rhythms of Texas seasons, finding more success with fall plantings than spring's heat-challenged crops. The garden reminds her that some things can't be rushed—relationships, like gardens, need time and attention to flourish.

Her weekly rhythm flows through various communities: mornings at the gym, occasional garden club meetings, Wednesday night women's Bible study, and those precious Friday coffee dates with friends from our old neighborhood – relationships cultivated over two decades that continue to nourish her spirit.

Perhaps the most touching project this year has been Lisa's work to bring her mother's devotional to print. What started as a labor of love has blossomed into something extraordinary, with the publisher investing far beyond their initial commitment. When they offered to edit this manuscript (twice the length of any of my books) for just $750, I was skeptical. But seeing the quality of their work, I realized they, too, had been touched by the depth and grace of her mother's writing. It's a fitting tribute to a woman whose gift for teaching and writing lives on through her daughter's dedication.

This is what love looks like up close – sometimes messy, always real, and consistently bathed in prayer. It's about being present, whether triumph or struggle and creating space where genuine relationships can grow. Through Lisa's example, River Rose has become more than a ranch – it's become a place where love takes root and flourishes in the rich soil of daily life. 

Understanding neurodiversity has been one of my most profound learning experiences as a parent. Through Michelle and Emerys, I've gained insights into how differently brilliant minds navigate our world – particularly the corporate landscape, which often struggles to recognize and nurture neurodiverse talent. Emerys, with his encyclopedic knowledge of policies and regulatory frameworks, brings extraordinary precision to his work as a quality control analyst. His ability to recall and apply complex legal standards isn't just impressive – it's a reminder of how specialized minds can excel in ways that traditional corporate structures often overlook.

Michelle's combination of creativity and empathy challenges common misconceptions about autism. Her heightened sensory perception, rather than limiting her emotional connections, actually deepens them, allowing her to read emotional energies with remarkable accuracy. The challenge isn't in feeling or understanding emotions; it's in decoding the subtle dance of nonverbal cues that neurotypical people take for granted. Her work in social media and graphic design leverages this unique perspective, creating content that resonates emotionally while maintaining authentic connections with her clients.

The concept of "spoon theory" that Michelle introduced me to years ago has revolutionized my understanding of energy management. While I use my WHOOP app to track recovery and plan my days – adjusting my schedule when I'm in the green for high performance or scaling back in the yellow – Michelle and Emerys navigate a more complex energy landscape. Imagine starting each day with a limited number of "spoons" (energy units) and having to carefully allocate them across all activities, knowing that sensory overload or unexpected social demands could quickly deplete your reserves. This framework isn't just about managing energy; it's about making intentional choices to preserve capacity for what matters most.

Looking ahead to 2025, their paths are evolving in exciting ways. Emerys's planned transition from corporate work to a trade reflects a growing understanding of aligning work with personal well-being. Michelle continues to build her creative business, combining her sharp eye for detail with an intuitive grasp of emotional resonance in her social media work. Her proofreading skills have revealed another strength—ensuring content reads well and connects deeply with its intended audience.

What moves me most is watching them parent. Their understanding of autism isn't theoretical – it's lived experience that they're now applying to raise Gwydion with extraordinary insight and care. They recognize his autistic traits early and understand exactly what support he needs to thrive. Their approach balances nurturing his unique way of experiencing the world while helping him develop tools to navigate neurotypical spaces effectively.

Their partnership exemplifies what I've always believed about relationships – that the strongest bonds come from understanding and supporting each other's unique ways of being. Together, they're creating a home where different kinds of brilliance are celebrated, energy is carefully stewarded, and their son can grow into his unique way of experiencing and contributing to the world. Watching them work together, support each other, and parent with such intentional awareness isn't just heartwarming – it's a masterclass in embracing and celebrating neurodiversity in all its beautiful complexity.

There's something magical about watching your children discover their calling. At 31, Nathan has found his sweet spot behind the bar at Oma Leen's in Hico, where crafting cocktails has become more than just mixing drinks – it's become his art form. While he lives with us at River Rose Ranch, his schedule at the restaurant means our paths often cross like ships in the night, but when they do, the conversations have deepened into something remarkable.

Oma Leen's has evolved into more than just another Texas restaurant. Under the guidance of its ambitious celebrity chef owners, it's become a destination that draws people from across the state, earning a reputation that stretches from North Dallas to Waco. I got a firsthand glimpse of this culinary excellence during our 4th of July cookout at the ranch. What started as an intimidating prospect – hosting professional chefs – turned into a masterclass as Nathan and one of the chefs took command of the grill, transforming our casual gathering into something extraordinary.

His ambitions have grown alongside the restaurant's success. The owners and Nathan have set their sights on achieving a Michelin star. This pursuit has led to an exciting opportunity: starting the new year with a Stage (a stagiaire, or unpaid apprenticeship) at Chicago's Violet Hour, crowned the most creative bar in America for 2024. It's the kind of opportunity that can transform potential into mastery.

What moves me most is watching the evolution of our relationship. Our conversations have expanded far beyond the casual "Hey, what's up?" into rich discussions about his latest cocktail innovations, political perspectives, and even matters of faith. He's witnessing Lisa and me living out our beliefs in real-time through our extended Glen Rose family, complete with all its beautiful messiness. We've become more three-dimensional to him – no longer just Dad the professional or Mom with her church groups and charities, but real people with our struggles and victories.

His dry wit has become a source of family entertainment, particularly when he catches Lisa in the crosshairs of his deadpan delivery. I can't help but join in when he starts spinning some outlandish conspiracy theory or controversial take, the two of us building an improvisational comedy routine while Lisa tries to sort out whether we're serious – until our straight faces finally crack into laughter.

They say there's no greater joy for parents than seeing their children find their path. Watching Nathan transform into this serious yet fun-loving, ambitious, and thoughtful young man has been one of the year's greatest gifts. He's not just mixing drinks; he's crafting his future with the same precision and creativity he brings to his cocktails. And like the best cocktails, his journey is a perfect balance of passion and profession, ambition and authenticity, growth and grace.

Some couples just fit together like puzzle pieces designed by the same hand. When our pastor shared that Tyler and Julia's compatibility assessment scores were the highest he'd ever seen, it wasn't surprising – though his amusing observation that they had to work to find something to disagree about certainly was. At 26, Tyler and Julia have already mastered something many couples spend decades learning: nurturing their shared passions while embracing their quirks.

Their shared love of cinema has opened new worlds for Lisa and me. They met their freshman year in a class on movie making. Seven years later, as self-proclaimed movie nerds, they've become our curators, guiding us beyond the well-worn paths of streaming algorithms into unexplored territory. During their recent week-long visit, they introduced us to a French film that challenged everything we thought we knew about storytelling. Two and a half hours flew by like minutes, leaving us with curious questions that lingered long after the credits rolled. The mental engagement was so intense that my WHOOP recovery scores dipped – a small price to pay for expanding our cinematic horizons from two-dimensional hero tales to four-dimensional masterpieces where even the concept of heroism itself becomes beautifully complex.

Tyler approaches his electrical engineering studies with the same precise attention to detail that once led him, as a toddler, to ensure his peas never touched his mashed potatoes. His strategy of expecting and planning for the worst while maintaining a straight-A average speaks to a mind that finds comfort in preparation and excellence. This summer's internship revealed his hunger for greater challenges and exploring the firm's Boulder office – with a dream to move to Colorado.

His dual pursuit of engineering and music degrees isn't just about collecting credentials. I've shared with him the discipline of mastering an instrument and the creative thinking it develops will set him apart in the engineering world. This unique combination mirrors his personality: precise yet creative, cautious yet passionate.

Julia has found her calling at Goddard Daycare, where her natural warmth and nurturing spirit have made her beloved by children and colleagues. Watching her with their "practice children" – Donnie Dog and Ringo (yes, Tyler's Beatles fandom runs deep) – it's clear she'll be the kind of mother every child dreams of having. Their furry family members have become regular visitors to River Rose, adding their energy to our monthly gatherings in the guest house.

Their growing attraction to Colorado Springs, where they honeymooned and still vacation, hints at future changes that Lisa and I are learning to accept. The prospect of them settling in Colorado after Tyler's final two semesters isn't easy for us to contemplate, but we understand the pull of those mountains and the lifestyle they represent. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, supported by the knowledge that they've built something rare and beautiful together.

Watching them navigate life as a team—whether analyzing film techniques, caring for their dogs, or planning their future—reminds me that the best partnerships aren't just about compatibility scores. They're about two people who make each other better while staying true to who they are. Tyler and Julia have mastered this dance early on, and it's a joy to watch them move through life in such perfect steps.

I have read and listened to over fifty books and hundreds of podcasts. I could easily produce an entire newsletter about the insights I collected. I gave my son Nathan the book ‘Alchemy’ by Rory Sutherland because he’s in the hospitality industry, and their team has set a goal to achieve a Michelin star. Early in my career, an influential mentor told me, “Leaders are readers.”
 

The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt

The book provides insight into how social media has rewired the brains of a generation and why GenZ struggles with mental health and social skills. 

Favorite Quotes:

• "My central claim in this book is that these two trends—overprotection in the real world and underprotection in the virtual world—are the major reasons why children born after 1995 became the anxious generation."
• "People don’t get depressed when they face threats collectively; they get depressed when they feel isolated, lonely, or useless."
• "As the Stoics and Buddhists taught long ago, happiness cannot be reached by eliminating all 'triggers' from life; rather, happiness comes from learning to deprive external events of the power to trigger negative emotions in you."
• "Experience, not information, is the key to emotional development."
• "This is the great irony of social media: the more you immerse yourself in it, the more lonely and depressed you become."

The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté

Beyond "Normal": Reflections on Trauma, Healing, and Maté's Journey

My fifteen-year exploration of trauma took an unexpected turn this year with Gabor Maté's "The Myth of Normal." The book arrived at a time when my understanding of trauma had already been deeply personal – shaped by watching my daughter's journey after high school bullying rewired her neural pathways, affecting everything from her mental resilience to her physical health. Her experience transformed from an isolated incident into a daily reality, teaching me that trauma isn't just about what happens to us but how it reshapes our relationship with the world.

Maté's work stands out for its unique triple perspective: researcher, practitioner, and someone intimately acquainted with trauma's landscape. His writing weaves together clinical insights with lived experience, offering a window into how trauma embeds itself in both body and mind. While I disagree with some of his broader societal prescriptions—shaped as they are by his distinct cultural and personal journey—his core insights into trauma's mechanisms and manifestations ring powerfully true.

The book's central premise challenges our understanding of what we consider "normal" in modern society. Maté argues that many behaviors and conditions we accept as baseline are adaptations to trauma – survival mechanisms that helped us endure but may no longer serve us. This resonates deeply with what I've observed in personal and professional contexts, where seemingly "normal" patterns often mask deeper wounds.

Where Maté truly shines is in illuminating the physiological implications of trauma. His exploration of how emotional wounds manifest in physical symptoms aligns with what I've witnessed in my daughter's journey – how an emotional assault can cascade through the body's systems, creating ripples that extend far beyond the initial impact. This understanding is crucial for anyone working with trauma survivors or navigating their healing path.

Reading "The Myth of Normal" reinforced what fifteen years of research and personal experience had taught me: trauma's impact is as unique as the individuals who experience it, and healing requires both understanding and patience. While we might not all agree with Maté's broader social conclusions, his contribution to our understanding of trauma's intimate workings is invaluable.

Favorite Quotes

• "Trauma is not what happens to you but what happens inside you."
• "Whether we realize it or not, it is our woundedness, or how we cope with it, that dictates much of our behavior, shapes our social habits, and informs our ways of thinking about the world."
• "One of the things many diseases have in common is inflammation, acting as kind of a fertilizer for the development of illness. We’ve discovered that when people feel threatened, insecure—especially over an extended period of time—our bodies are programmed to turn on inflammatory genes."

This year, Rory Sutherland's Alchemy: The Surprising Power of Ideas That Don't Make Sense is one of my favorite books because he challenges conventional wisdom by exploring how embracing our predictable irrationality can lead to innovative solutions in business and life. Drawing on behavioral economics and psychology, Sutherland makes a terrific case for creative strategies that tap into our innate biases and perceptions. In our overly data-driven world, it grants permission to look beyond data and reason, recognizing the value of intuition and unconventional thinking in problem-solving.

Favorite Quotes:

• "The problem with logic is that it kills off magic." 
• "A flower is simply a weed with an advertising budget." 
• "The opposite of a good idea can also be a good idea." 
• "Don’t design for average." 
• "Solving problems using rationality is like playing golf with only one club."

How Not to Waste a Crisis: Quit Trying Harder by Tod Bolsinger

I'm delighted to introduce accomplished and good friend and colleague Tod Bolsinger. Drawing from our shared experiences at a consulting firm founded by three Jungian clinical psychologists, we've observed firsthand how organizational dynamics often mirror familial conflicts. Tod has masterfully distilled these academic and clinical insights into practical guidance for managers and leaders. 

In this book, he emphasizes the importance of adaptability in leadership, especially during times of crisis, and provides actionable strategies to transform challenges into opportunities for growth. 

Here are some of my favorite quotes:

• "Crisis is an opportunity to stop trying harder and begin embracing adaptability."
• "In moments of crisis, we don’t rise to the occasion; we default to our training."
• "The upheaval you find yourself in can reframe your leadership and revive your team."
• "Instead of working harder to solve a crisis, leaders should let the crisis transform them and their approach to leadership."
• "Adaptive leadership takes an intentional willingness to shift lesser values, as necessary, while holding firmly to the core values that cannot be compromised."

Two quotes that changed my understanding of what happens when I try to communicate are from Charles Duhigg’s book, Super Communicators:

• "Whenever a conversation begins, whether we realize it or not, it's a negotiation of wants and needs."
• "When we align, we start to connect, and that’s when a meaningful conversation begins."

After watching an online presentation by Jesse Cole, founder of the Savannah Bananas, I was inspired by his innovative approach to talent and fan engagement. I sent him a video expressing how closely his philosophy aligned with Genius Spark's principles. To my surprise, Jesse responded with a personalized video, exemplifying his "Fans First" ethos.

Reading his book, Fans First: Change The Game, Break the Rules, and Create an Unforgettable Experience further reinforced the alignment between his strategies and the challenges many of my clients face in re-engaging employees and delivering unparalleled value to their customers. Jesse's insights into creating exceptional customer experiences are both practical and transformative.

Favorite Quotes:

• "Constraints foster creativity. If we’d had money pouring in and plenty of resources, we might have been tempted to go with the status quo. With no money, we had to go with the capital we did have: each other. We had to outthink, not outspend." 
• Constraints led to my creation of Genius Spark.
• "Standing Out. I believe that everyone has something that makes them stand out and be the best version of themselves. Once you find that, the key is to amplify it by ten. That’s your differentiator. That’s your unique ability." 

This was the quote I shared that aligned with our Genius Spark philosophy.
 

"Eliminating Friction. Put yourself in your fans’ shoes and look at every possible pain point, every possible frustration, every possible policy that slows things down, heats up tempers, and punishes fans." 

In a post-pandemic workplace, every company needs to re-engage employees as fans.
 

"You either get a win or you get a story. If you like the idea, keep working on it until it comes together. Keep tweaking it until it’s different enough, remarkable enough, or silly enough to work." 

Have you ever had a post-project or event review to explore how to further differentiate the experience?
 

"Plussing means giving your fans more than what they paid for, more than what they expect, sometimes even more than it seems reasonable to do."

The book How Big Things Get Done significantly impacted my project work. Its main conclusion is that early collaborative alignment and planning can prevent most of the 90% of mega—projects that go awry from running late and over budget. I redesigned my partnering workshops to create a “training camp” approach for advanced partnering, similar to that of professional sports teams. 

The stronger emphasis and new tools and exercises have proven effective on a project over $2 billion: a hospital PICU renovation. We’re now just starting on a large wastewater treatment plant. 

I introduced the new half-day workshop at a construction conference this year, and it received the highest rating from over 70 workshops.

My favorite quote is, “Projects don’t go wrong; they start wrong.”

Powerful Conversations: How to Talk About What Matters Most in Work and Life is written by a good friend and colleague, Kyle Majchrowski. It is a collection of insights from his mission to create communities of practice in the construction industry focused on human skills. His events and local chapters have served as Kyle’s laboratory for discovering the power of dialogue and human connection. 

Favorite Quotes:

• "Meaningful conversations are anything but simple. Powerful Conversations explores the idea that through intentional conversations, we can truly connect as human beings." 
• "Our ability to explore deep and meaningful concepts like trust, authenticity, and compassion starts with an understanding of ourselves." 
• "With a level of self-understanding, we can truly listen to others. Then by conversing, we can dive deeply into the conversation." 
• "Isolation and loneliness are societal issues, so how can we improve our ability to connect? How can we intentionally strengthen human connection in our world? The answer may be as simple as conversations." 

"Waiting Isn't a Waste: The Surprising Comfort of Trusting God in the Uncertainties of Life" by Mark Vroegop arrived as a timely course correction for my activity, checklist, and what’s next driven life. Here are a few quotes that I continue to recall and reorient toward. 

Favorite Quotes:

• "Waiting on God is living on what I know to be true about God, when I don’t know what’s true about my life." 
• "Waiting isn’t doing nothing. It’s directing the heart toward who God is." 
• "Patient waiting is not fatalistic or pessimistic. It’s the hopeful commitment to seek God’s help creatively and faithfully while staying put." 
• "Waiting is the spiritual posture of endurance." 
• "Waiting isn’t about what is happening to us, but what could happen in us."